Beautiful Disaster
by Sakamoto Michiko
Summary: Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson songfic. GaaOC friendship one shot. Could be romantic if you squint hard enough, but not really intended to be. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! Flames welcome, I suppose...! Will turn into a series of songfics! Stay tuned


**_Hey, guess what? I haven't written a songfic before, so I thought I'd give it a try. And this is the result!! -le gasp- This might not be the only one I do. This is slightly depressing, (OK, maybe more than that) and it's about Gaara, so yeah. If I do another, it'll probably be about Naruto cuz he's just that kewl._**

**_DISLAIMAH!! I do not own Naruto! Or Gaara, for that matter! I only know the narrator (my OC Michiko; wanna find out more about her, then read my other fanfic, You'd Never Get It)! And I don't own the song! This song is Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson!! There you have it. Read on, people, read on!! And please, PLEASE review this!! Arigato!_**

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The soft light of the full moon descends from the curtain of black sky. It gracefully dances across a stage made of sand. It lightly touches my face to reveal the sorrow in my eyes. A cry of agony jolts through the air and pierces the stillness. I watch in silence.

_**He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme, I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
With more heaven than a heart could hold…**_

I want nothing more than to run to his side, to pry his pale hand away from the shock of crimson hair on his head, which he clutches very tightly, as if it is the only thing keeping him together, keeping him whole. I want nothing more than to hold that hand in my own, never to let go.

_**And if I try to save him  
My whole world could cave in  
It just ain't right  
It just ain't right…**_

I remain in the shadows of the dunes, gazing helplessly as he drops to his knees and flings his head backwards. A scream escapes from the depths of his throat and resonates through the vacant air of the desert. His glossy black eyelids are squeezed so tight that they might fuse together. The moonlight glints off of his creamy white forehead. My gaze falls on the Kanji engraved onto it.

_Ai._

_**Oh, and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster…**_

I wince at the sound of another howl that bursts from his lips. Sand rises from the ground beneath him and starts to swirl around him viciously, contorting itself into a furious cloud of golden dust. He lurches forward and grasps his torso. His shouts of pain turn to snarls of rage. Pure, white hot wrath. His eyes snap open to reveal a piercing, ominous yellow, surrounded by black as dark as the sky. Saliva starts to drip from his mouth as his hands slowly rise to grab hold of his hair once more, tearing it from the roots. I grimace. He didn't deserve any of this. This wasn't his will; he'd never asked for this fate. And here he is now, battling with the demon that took his mother's life from him, stole it away before he could have a chance to experience the love a mother could give.

But I wouldn't know much of how that feels, either.

The thought gives me a sudden impulse to rush to him and comfort him, out of instinct, but I remain in the shade. It would be foolish to try to soothe him now. I would die the instant he knew of my presence. I hold my breath and shut my eyes for a moment. They sting.

_**  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster…**_

My eyes flutter open and I flinch when another scream shoots into the air. I let my hand fly to my mouth to stifle a gasp. A single drop escapes from my eyes and quickly slides down my face at the sight I behold. My heart contracts painfully, almost to the breaking point.

His face is slick with tears as they run unrelenting down his face before vanishing into the armor of sand he always dons. His breath comes out in quick, heavy puffs, while his inhales are shallow and broken. He unlatches his hands from his spiky tresses and hides his face in his palms. I can hear him sobbing loudly. I can see his shoulders and back bob up and down as he brings his face and hands to his knees. I feel my heart shatter.

_**He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see…**_

The sand grows livid as his anguish rises and overflows. It starts to cave in around his small form, attempting to bind itself to his skin. He shouts out something I can't understand over the rush of the grains and the whistling of the wind, but I can vaguely see him swat at the sand as it approaches him. He leaps to his feet, salty droplets still rushing down from his ocher eyes. He scrunches his fingers slightly and brings his hand to the opposite shoulder before he quickly swings it out and to the other side of his body. The sand immediately falls back onto the ground and lies still. Not a moment later, he collapses in a heap on the soft earth. All I do is watch.

_**And do I try to change him?  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight…**_

I'm caught in a current of indecision. Should I hurry to his side? Should I remain where I am until he wakes? Should I simply head home and act as if I saw nothing? I shake my head. No, I can't just abandon him. Too many have. I am willing to be the one person who won't. Without a second thought, I slowly rise from my crouched position beside the dune and step towards him. He doesn't stir as I kneel next to him. He stays in the same awkward position that he fell in, with his face smothered in the sand. My eyebrows knit together as I gently set my hands on his head and turn it so that he can breathe normally without suffocating. I notice dark, tan lines running from his eyes to his chin. My hearts squeezes once more. I softly brush the sand away from his face until it's entirely exposed. The rest seems to fall off on its own, as his chakra flow has stopped momentarily. I grimace slightly. He was so much paler than I'd thought; I could tell that even in the dark of the night. The marks of insomnia around his eyes stand out like the moon in the sky. I stare down at him sadly and wipe away the residue of his tears from his soft skin. I wish I could do more for him.

_**  
He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take…**_

I bite my lip and watch him as he unwillingly sleeps. His calm expression turns to one of pain. His arms fly to the sides of his head and grasp his temples. His lips curl over his teeth in a grimace, his brow furrowing. A groan escapes as he gnashes his teeth together. A fresh wave of tears squeezes its way through his eyelids and splatters onto his black shirt. It depresses me to know that he's plagued by night terrors, even when he doesn't sleep voluntarily. I can only image what the God of the Wind is doing to him; what kind of torture he's making this poor boy endure. As I watch, I sit completely still, bracing myself for the moment when he would awaken and find me there, holding him. But his eyes don't open, even though they're overflowing heavily. My eyebrows curve down in confusion as he starts to murmur something I can't make out.

The rays of the sun stretch over the horizon, spewing light onto the golden sands. Tearing my eyes off the boy, I stare into the light. I should have been back in the village long ago. If the Kazekage were to discover I was missing...I didn't want to think of the consequences. I look back down at the redhead sadly. The last thing I want to do is leave him alone once more. Even still, I start to gently set him down onto the sands once more. To my surprise, a white hand shoots up to clasp onto my shirt. I freeze, eyes wide and pulse racing.

"Don't…leave…" he mutters drowsily, his eyes remaining shut. His grip tightens on me. "Stay…here…" His voice is clouded, as if he doesn't know why he was saying this, or to whom. But I can make out the pleading in his voice. I can see it plainly on his face. A smile spreads across my own.

"I won't leave you, Gaara-kun," I say softly to him. "I'll stay with you for as long as you want me to."

The look of loneliness and sorrow that overtook his features seems to melt away. A more serene, almost happy look takes its place. His crying halts and his hold on my shirt lessens until both his hands drift to his sides. His head falls limp once more, resting against my forearm.

"Ari…ga…to…" he whispers.

My grin widens.

_**Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster…  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster…**_

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**_Alrighty then! That was fun to write. BTW this doesn't tie in with the plot of my original story, You'd Never Get It. This is just a one shot that I thought up b/c I always thought this song was perfect for Gaara (along with Pain by Three Days Grace. -gasp- Another songfic idea!!) so I decided to write it. You'd Never Get It isn't one of those stories where the OCs and original characters fall in love at first sight (I don't really believe in that). So yeah...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review this!! Reviews motivate me to write more! And big thanks to _Auphora66_, _xEren_ and _Reidluver _for being awesome supporters and reviewers!! Cookies for all of you!! -munch- Well, off to work on the next chappie for my story! -munch- Ja ne!_**


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